I met a 4yr old girl that has been reading too many issues of Rue Morgue.

For Christmas, I recieved a Starbucks giftcard "So I can buy food and what not for work." Cute idea, too bad I spend most of my time in cafe during January explaining that we take B&N gift cards since we are not a "real" starbucks.
It's still a working gift card though, so I've made a point to visit the Starbucks a couple of blocks down. Reasons said out loud: "I can go and relax, have a Caramel Machiotto and read a book." Inside my head: "I would love to have one of those magical movie moments where a pretty->beautiful girl comes in, is lost the same way I am and decides to make converstion... or at least make friends with a barista."
Gift card in hand, I head on over. On monday, I make no friends. Thanks to a gathering of Italians, it's too loud to read well. One of them also took the other chair from the table I was sitting at, destroying any "magical" ideas I had in my head. OH! Just so I couldn't leave Monday without a story/fucked up moment, the only girl I've ever mustered up the balls to ask for her number is there...well, almost ask. Right about the time where I would have asked her, she pulled out a "come to my hipster church!" postcard. Yep, cockblocked by GOD. Then, 2 weeks later or so, I started dating a 9 month mistake. I still blame Jesus girl... can't take any of that blame myself, now could I!?
Now I come to my visit on Tuesday. I get one of the two extra comfy chairs in front of the faux fireplace. How quaint. Five minutes later, an old man sits next to me... whatever. Not surprised at this point, anyways, there is still a chair across from me so my baseless hope is still up. Five minutes later from that point, "Poetry Lady", a woman who used to read erotic poetry at B&N who now reads magazines while licking her fingers to turn pages and every once in a while leaves a curious marking on the B&N comfy chairs, sat in that one "hope" chair.
She smells like poo, and for a moment I wonder just how clean the chair I'm sitting in is. *shudder*
So time pases, and she leaves. The smell leaves too. I then hear a cute little voice behind me say "Before we go mommy, can I sit in one of the fireplace chairs?" "Sure" said mum, "it'll be a little bit though." More time passes, and right about the time I was going to move so the little girl gets her fireplace time, the old guy finally gets up and leaves.
"Go ahead" her mum said. So the little girl runs over, plops down on the edge of the chair and goes, "I love fireplaces!"
"Me too" I replied.
"I wanna touch it!"
"That would probably be a bad idea. Fire burns ya know"
"I know. I want it to burn my eyes first."
"What?" I said, as any hope for a cute, life afferming moment goes out the window.
"Yeah, I want to stick my head in the fire. I think my eyes would burn first"
"That's... uh... creepy"
"Is it as creepy as when you put those headphones on?"
"No! wait, what? My headphones arn't creepy"
She ponders this for a moment, hand on her chin, confused grin as if she's possesed.
"I wish those bricks weren't there, but im pretty sure the floor wouldn't catch on fire either"
"..."
"One more minute" her mom yelled from the table behind us"
"Have fun with the fire!" she said with glee, jumping down from the chair.
"You, too?"
As she put on her jacket with her moms help, the mother reminded her to say bye to her new friend.
"Bye mister!"
I stared at the fire for about five minutes, threw away my cup, and walked out the door. I'll keep an eye out for any gatherings where the sole survivor is a 4yr old girl with blonde hair and a smile on the news...